Posted in caption, instagram story, random, slice of life, thoughts

Lost Things

You won’t realize how precious something is until you lost it.

In this case it doesn’t work that way. Why? Because I know how precious it is and I did take a very good care of it before it’s gone. And now it’s gone, I’m heart broken, devastated, and any other words that describe how sad I am right now.

So, what ‘it‘ is?

This is it

This is a one minute creation on instagram story of my precious pencil case. 

What makes it precious? Well, for one, it’s cute. For two, the flower was not originally part of the pencil case. My good friend gave it too me and I decided to put it there because the colours match and it looked like it belong there. What makes it even more precious are the things inside. 4 Years worth of cute and highly functional stationaries. And now, the pencil case and everything attached to it are gone.

So, maybe you’ll wonder. How could I lose something that precious if I really did took good care of it? The answer is, I don’t know. I don’t even remember when was the last time I had them in my hand. It happened around 2 latest week when my hands mobility were restricted (how cryptic..). And now that it’s free. I can’t find it. Anywhere!!!!

It’s not in my loft. It’s not at my home. It’s not at the lab. It’s not at the office. I’m pretty sure I won’t left it someplace random that I visited. I thought I maybe left it on my friend’s loft, but she said I didn’t. So… I’m all out of option here.

Sure.. I can always buy a new one. Fill it with new things. I mean, come on, this is not the first time I lost things, hell, I lost things everytime. So, why all the drama?

Well, sometimes, and I mean, most of the times. When I lost things, and decided to buy a new one, the lost things will turn up after I bought the new one. It’s one thing if I didn’t put much effort on to looking for it. Maybe I just being careless. Maybe it just slipped my sight. That would be okay. But this time, I did look thoroughly, I put every effort, and I thought every possible possibilities. It would be super annoying if I finally decided to buy new everything and then suddenly my lost things fall out of nowhere. 

And that is why I put all my might to restrain my self from buying new stuff. I don’t want to have double of everything when I finally found the lost ones after I bought the new ones. It would be a waste of money and really sad and ironic. 

So.. NO!!!!!

Now, I can’t write and draw, and that feels like something caught in my throat, because I really want to write and draw and do stuff with my precious pencil case and stationaries that currently, sadly, once more I have to say, ARE GONE!!!

Posted in random, thoughts

1% Galau

Hujan itu 99% air, 1% kenangan

Ini quote milik siapa sih? Yang jelas, bukan milik ifah. Quote ini, quote yang lazim terlontar ketika hujan mengguyur. Ada aja yang iseng. Eh gak tau iseng atau bukan sih.. Gimana orangnya aja itu mah. Ya mungkin juga, bagi dia memang ada 1% kenangan yang terkandung dalam setiap hujan yang turun.

Ifah belum pernah survey, tapi ifah yakin, nggak hanya satu atau dua orang di dunia ini yang merasa hujan itu bikin galau. Pertanyaannya bisa jadi, “apa iya?” , atau sebatas “kenapa?”

Apa iya hujan bikin galau?

Atau

Kenapa hujan bikin galau?

Pertanyaan mana yang dipilih, itu tergantung kepercayaan masing-masing. Yang percaya hujan memang bikin galau, mungkin akan mempertanyakan kenapa. Yang nggak percaya, mungkin akan mempertanyakan kebenarannya, apa iya.

Ah.. Galau memang. Kata hits zaman sekarang. Apa juga yang nggak jelas disimpulkan jadi galau. Padahal gak tau juga definisi galau menurut KBBI apaan. 

Harus ifah akui, galau atau bukan, hujan memang selalu memunculkan perasaan yang menggantung. Entah perasaan apa itu namanya, mungkin juga keentahan itu yang menyebabkan galau.

Tapi, coba pikir kayak gini. Andaikan aja benerlah hujan bikin galau, apakah itu artinya masyarakat yang tinggal di daerah dengan curah hujan yang tinggi memiliki intensitas kegalauan yang lebih tinggi? Bagaimana dengan mereka yang tinggal di daerah dengan curah hujan yang rendah? Adakah yang pernah membandingkan intensitas kegalauan warga London dengan Mesir? Atau jangan jauh-jauh deh.. Bogor dengan Jakarta aja..

Ifah rasa kalau ditaro seperti itu, nampaknya nggak masuk akal kalau ada korelasi antara hujan dan galau.

Hujan yang rajin mampir ke Bogor nggak akan menjadikan warga Bogor lebih galau dibandingkan warga Jakarta. Sama halnya dengan warga Jakarta nggak berarti lebih nggak galau dibandingkan warga Bogor. 

Terus gimana dengan 1% kenangan yang terkandung dalam hujan? Ah.. Ya mungkin ada benarnya. Semua orang juga punya kenangan di kala hujan. Suasana yang familiar membuat suatu kenangan kembali terkenang. Seperti deja vu, bedanya kenangan bukan sekedar perasaan pernah terjadi, tapi memang pernah, sudah, terjadi.

Kalaulah kenangannya sama mantan dan akhirnya bikin galau, ya berarti bukan salah hujan kamu galau. Salah sendiri memilih kenangan buat dikenangnya yang galau galau. Kurang-kuranginlah, giliran hujan tuh jangan selalu dipake buat mengenang. Bikin kenangan baru apa susahnya sih? Ketika hujan selanjutnya dan kamu memang gak ada kerjaan lain kecuali untuk mengenang, pilihlah kenangan yang nggak bikin galau..

Ada banyak cara untuk melewati hujan. Caranya bisa kamu pilih sendiri. Karena untuk galau atau nggak, mengenang atau nggak, itu semua pilihan. Bukan kewajiban yang datang bersama hujan.

Posted in random, slice of life, thoughts

Voluntary Art Works and Commission for Complete Stranger

Well, the title is explicit enough I think πŸ˜… . I want to talk about the art works that I made voluntarily and the commissions I did for complete strangers..

Lately I’ve been having art blocks. I didn’t draw anything for the whole week.. Hell.. I didn’t even touch my pencil πŸ˜‚. I didn’t have any inspiration and even if I did, I decided that it was bad inspiration (is there anything called “bad inspiration”? I don’t know~)

I have this friend.. He sometimes send me things.. Videos.. Pictures.. Anything..  Othere people’s works.. Basically ideas. Things that he thinks are cool or he thinks I would think are cool. They help. Once, twice… Other times when I’m not in the mood, well, that means most of the time.. they are not any help. They just not..

But today..

Today I made lots.. Man~ I made plenty of artworks today. Faces, icons, doodles, flowers, stuffs.. Important stuffs.. Not-so-important stuffs.. I created things today.

And somehow.. Everything feels better. All the slumps.. The bad moods.. They all gone~ Guess, I do like drawing a lot, huh? πŸ˜…

So, where are those ideas came from?

I don’t know. No where I guess~ They just appeared. And it started from an art work. A voluntary work. A commission for a complete stranger.

So, this girl. I don’t know who suddenly DM-ing me via Instagram saying she loves my artworks. I, who wasn’t in the mood at the time.. Simply replied with a short thank you. But the conversation continued. She talked about how nice it would be to be drawn by me. And I was like.. Geez, who the hell is this girl~? But then I was like, meh~ why not~? 

So I drew her.. A simple one. Not very artistic or realistic. It didn’t take much effort. But she was very happy when I sent it to her. She posted it immediately on her page and mentioned me on the caption. After that.. I was.. Hmm.. I don’t know how to explain this.. Flustered? Mesmerized?

The fact that the work that I made half-heartedly just made some random girl happy, is making me happy. I don’t even know her, nobody I follow, follows her account, she lived across the island, there is no way our lifes crossed path before. But, she, out of no where, came to me, asked a favour, and I did it, knowing that nothing good or bad will come out of it, and it turns out that I just made both of us weirdly happy πŸ˜‚

And after that, my hand just moved, the ideas just flowed, and pictures are made~ They are not post-worthy but I came from no creation to spent-the-whole-sketch-book. Now I need to buy a new one πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Today, a few other commissions came to me. They want me to draw their faces, their friends’s faces, their pets, some random anime characters, an icon for a group, cute ones, realistic ones. And I did all of it, voluntarily, and I am actually happy.

You know that saying? “Never do something you’re good at for free” ? Who said that? Well, apart from he/she (whoever’s that quote belong to) is probably right, and probably has became very rich and succesfull by following their own quote.. I, today, proved that, nothing is wrong with, “Do whatever you’re good at for free” . Because, maybe.. just maybe, it would make you.. VERY HAPPY.

Ah.. Note to everybody.. If it comes the time when you are having too much happiness but kind of low on money, you might want to consider the don’t do it for free quote~

Posted in caption, monthly project, random, slice of life, thoughts, water colour

Feeling Blue and Failed November Project

It’s 26th November and November is coming to end.

My friend in Portland told me that the months that end with -ber are the best. October, November and December. Well obviously since majority of Americans celebrate something on those -ber’s months. Haloween on October, Thanksgiving on November and Christmast on December. Though to me, he always seems to celebrate something every months πŸ˜….

Well, I do like October, since it is my birthmonth and this year’s October was quite fun with inktober and all. 

I was trying my hardest to make this November fun. I planned a project but I just couldn’t keep up with it. And something, something that I’ve been doing for the whole year has ended this November. I may call it a responsibility but it has grown on me and I start to miss it. It makes me feel blue all month. I have stuffs to keep me busy, but it doesn’t make it fun. It just like a boring routine that I’m forced to do everyday.

And now, it’s four days left until December. I just give up on my November project and all those efforts to make a fun November. I don’t remember how I felt last November or other Novembers before that. There’s no particular fond memory that stuck in my head so I just assume I never really have a thing for November. It’s just that month that come after October.

Posted in random, slice of life, thoughts

You’re not as awesome

Pernah gak sih punya pikiran, “Dia bisa, kenapa aku nggak bisa?”

Well, saudara-saudara.. Jawabannya gampang.

Karena kamu bukan dia dan kalau selama ini kamu pikir kamu lebih keren dari pada dia, segera hapus pikiran itu, karena kamu SALAH

Ada orang-orang di dunia ini yang, sadar tidak sadar, kita merasa lebih hebat dibanding mereka. Entah karena kamu tau kamu punya suatu yang tidak mereka miliki, entah karena kamu tau nilai kamu di sekolah jauh lebih baik, entah karena ( simply because ) people told you so. Terus kamu berasa, semesta mendukung opini kamu. Kamu merasa lebih mampu. Lalu tiba-tiba mereka melakukan sesuatu yang hebat, sedang kamu masih biasa aja. Lagi-lagi, sadar tidak sadar, kamu mengutuk diri kamu sendiri. Apa-apaan? Dan di sinilah, pikiran “Dia bisa kenapa aku nggak” itu muncul. Pikiran yang terkesan positif, padahal picik.

Sebagai orang yang sedang punya pikiran “dia bisa kenapa aku nggak?”, ifah nggak merasa pikiran ini membantu sama sekali. Sure, mungkin ini nge-trigger beberapa hal yang seharusnya kamu lakukan sejak dahulu kala. 

Terus apa? Gimana kalau ditengah jalan orang yang kamu jadiin perbandingan berhenti menjadi hebat? Apakah jadinya kamu puas? Pada akhirnya semesta kembali membuktikan, kamu lebih hebat. Kamu lihat itu sekarang? Walaupun di sisi kamu outcome-nya baik, tapi semua itu berasal dari pikiran yang jahat. Berasal dari ketidakpercayaan bahwa seseorang yang inferior mampu menandingi kamu.

Jadi berhentilah.

Berhenti menganggap diri kamu hebat, kalau kehebatan kamu masih berasal dari ketidakmampuan orang lain.

Berhenti menganggap diri kamu hebat, kalau semua aksi hebat kamu, masih kamu lakukan hanya untuk membuktikan, kamu lebih hebat.

Sudah sadar?

Kamu tidak terdengar begitu hebat lagi ya sekarang..

Posted in caption, crafty, inktober, monthly project, october, photos, slice of life, thoughts, water colour

November project?

Well, now that October ends.. or.. ended.. I got nothing left to do.

Hmm.. Probably not nothing, since I’ve been actually busy with.. my future.. God~ let’s not talk about that 😩

Anyway.. I’ve been thinking about what kind of project I should do for November, because Inktober was so much fun. It’s kind of taking my mind off things~ I actually googled it. What kind of project available on November?

There’s a list.. That I couldn’t remember. Most of November’s projects that I could find was all about literacy and friends. Like, making a novel in november or one poet a day on november .. They even have the abbrevation for them, no-something-something…i don’t remember. The point is.. I don’t think I’m interested

So, I was like..

Why don’t you make your own project? Because you’re so creative and all (yea~ not so much).. And because you might go nuts if you don’t have anything to take your minds of things

Yes, and I’ve been looking for some options since then..

Maybe a crafty project? I made this a couple of days ago

I was walking down the street and just randomly stop at this shop that sells that kind of stuff and.. This happen~

Certain things that need to be considered are, this project actually cost me. I need to buy the materials, which even though they’re not pricey, but compare to Inktober which cost me pretty much nothing.. I have to take second thought~

The second option is.. Well I don’t know what to call this one..

Did this with koi on the same paper from inktober

Yepp, I’m thinking a watercolour project. But not just take a photo of the finished result, I also took ones for the process. So the ending photo would be like that one πŸ‘†, like in steps..
It doesn’t cost me anything, just like Inktober. Though I’m thinking of buying a new sketchbook, the watercolour one. Because this one, they all peeled off due to the water from my watercolour..

So.. Yeah.. I think I’ll go with the second one. Don’t know if I found other project ideas midway though~

Hmm.. Need to find a better name for the project πŸ˜•